My story

Share the Love #2: Living Free (Not Burdensome)

2009-08-24T08:18:00.005-04:00

Oh the frustration of Monday morning! Four miserable hours wasted, trying to travel to another city and finally getting me right back where I started: at my own house. A Hindu woman sat next to me on my wasted bus ride. I thought, Okay, maybe God just put me on this bus to share the good news...maybe it's not all wasted time. I inquired about her gods and she informed me, "There are no living gods." I need to tell her Jesus is the living God, I thought. But, she just didn't seem to care to listen and I was so upset and ready to get off that dumb bus. Before departing company, we briefly exchanged phone numbers.

Five forty-five am the next morning I left the house again in attempt to go to the same city. Six hours on the train left my rear end aching, but relief that I had finally arrived. The whole trip I had busily chatted with the Christian woman seated next to me, and we also exchanged phone numbers before reaching our destination.

Praying the next morning, the Lord cut my heart as I read Psalm 58: "God presides in the great assembly; he gives judgment among the 'gods.'" Ouch...the Hindu woman from the day before didn't know Jesus was the living God, because I didn't tell her. But I don't want to go tell her! I'm so busy today! And she isn't going to believe...I could tell she wasn't a person of peace, I told God. He spoke gently to me the verse He'd been laying on my heart the previous week:

"This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome..."
1 John 5:2-3.

Grudginly, I decided to obey God and go tell her. I sure didn't want to, but surely it wouldn't be burdensome, right?

Inviting the Christian woman from the train to come along, the two of us went to the house of the Hindu lady that day (both women lived in the town I was visiting). Upon arrival, we chatted with the lady I had met from the train, as well as 5 other members of her family. Within a few hours, they had heard my own story of coming to know Jesus and the C2C story (the gospel in story form). It was actually fun! I had a great time sharing with them, and felt like they got a really good picture of the gospel. Some expressed interest to learn more and my Christian friend who went with me prayed for them and gave them her phone number to talk more.

What I thought would be miserable, actually turned out to be a really cool time. The Lord made me realize that even though I didn't want to go and I thought it was going to be a burden to spend my time there, it wasn't. It was actually more burden lifting and freeing because I went and shared! Looking back on the day, I realized that the struggle was not being obedient to Christ; my struggle was with denying myself and my desires to do something I didn't think I wanted to do. But, once I denied myself and went, I enjoyed the whole time tremendously! Being obedient and sharing was not actually burdensome at all, as I had feared. It was awesome to get to see how God had orchestrated all those meetings and let me be a part of it all.

And that's what it means to be a disciple of Christ, right? To deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23). I admit, I have failed to do so many times. But, how awesome it was when I did! And I know I still have today and tomorrow and every day hereafter to keep doing so. Here's to denying myself everyday, over and over again...

"This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome..." 1 John 5:3

Declaring His Wonders!

2009-08-17T07:50:00.004-04:00

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare."
Psalm 40:5

I've been struggling with trusting God with my burdens this week. I think I started trying to do too many things on my own and just sort of forgot how faithful God was in the past, how He's never failed me. So, this is me remembering just a small handful of awesome things He's done in my life...to help me remember...

My junior year of high school I felt so alone...I longed for a friend who was hungry for God like I was. I began praying that God would give me a friend who felt the same way I did. He did! 6 months after I started praying, He gave me Danny, Adam, & Bryan from Chillicothe; the first group of friends I ever had who were just truly on fire for God. Their passion for the Lord changed my life.
About every semester in college I struggled with some kind of illness, from nodules on my vocal chords, carpal tunnel, acid reflux, torn cartilage in my knee, foot problems...many were never fully diagnosed. But, as I daily gave those parts of my body to Him, He was faithful and healed me. He really did. And He taught me that they were His all along...not my own.
In high school I learned that one of my cousins didn't really know the Savior personally. I shared with him and began praying so earnestly...and God reached down and changed His life! He's now growing as a godly man!
He's given me some of the best girlfriends a girl could ever ask for...ladies who challenge me and uplift me, pray for me and just listen...Heather, Amy Jo, Maike, Pattie, Rachel, Betsy, Michelle...
He's blessed me with an awesome family, who love the Lord and are my best friends.
I moved to South Asia and constantly begged God to teach me the language. I knew I couldn't learn it on my own...but He would have to teach me. And I just expected Him to do it. I never really thought He wouldn't teach me. And He was faithful...Now I speak all day long in our language as I disciple girls and share with others in nothing but the local language.
I also didn't understand the people when I first came here, but as He taught me language, He also gave me a peak into their hearts. I can now freely share in a way that I know people understand...and it's so cool to see them respond to Him as He has enabled me to speak what they need to hear.
I yearned to disciple a woman, as so many women had poured into me. I prayed for years and asked God to give me one to disciple, then years later, maybe even 2 or 3. He's now given me 10!
One of my best friends became a believer...I prayed for so long that the Lord would lead her to be dunked in the water in obedience to Him and to break her free from the chains that were holding her back in sharing with her family. She finally did last June and is boldly proclaiming now!
We needed testing groups for our project. I prayed and trusted the Lord to provide...and He did! He gave all of us groups, and I especially got to be involved in 2 groups...that are still continually hearing the Good News! And our project was completed!!! Something ONLY God could finish.
I asked Him to give me the desires of His heart, to make me desire what He does. And He gave me some truly awesome, godly people to pour into my life, guiding me in the Truth and pointing out lies I was believing. I'm so thankful for Nicky, Danette, Jan, Steve, Mark, Lelanette, Pattie, Heather and the list goes on...
I have never been alone. Not only is Jesus always with me, but He's also given me like-minded partners, who sought the Lord together with me and helped keep my walk upright...Betsy, Michelle, Kayla, Brandon, Dave...

I will stop there, but I could go on. I just needed to remind myself to "wait patiently for the Lord," for he will turn to me and hear my cry, lift me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire, and set my feet on a rock and give me a firm place to stand and put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God! Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord (Psalm 40)!

I will trust in Him.

You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay.
Psalm 40:17

Share the Love Series #1: Wanna Ride?

2009-08-12T10:41:00.005-04:00

It struck me as odd today at how much a car ride can mean to some people.

I usually try and give rides to the ladies I see walking down my road when I drive by, at least to the main road or to their houses. The other day I gave a ride to a woman who lives nearby my house. When we came to her stop, she didn't know how to get out of the car! She had no idea how to use a door handle! At first I kind of giggled at her. But once she got out, I was just in awe: that this was her first time ever to ride in a car!

I was reminded of it again this evening when I offered to give a ride home to some of my CTT girls after our meeting at my house. We went right past the stop for 2 of the girls, but they wanted to wait until after we'd dropped the furthest girl. Then, as I returned to my house and passed their stop again, they would get out. They simply were in it for the joy of the ride.

I don't know if I'll ever really understand how much it means to them to ride in my car, but it makes me really happy to be able to share something so simple with them.

If I speak the language of the people around me and even of the angels, but have not love, I am only a kaa-ing crow or croaking frog...who cares what I have to say?
1 Corinthians 13:1 (JMM:)

Stray Dogs

2009-01-25T10:54:00.003-05:00

Running in Asia is a lot more complicated than I ever imagined. No, I guess I take that back; it could be worse. I mean, I don't have to deal with mountains and swamps and lush jungles...just crazy cars, people starring, and dogs. Stray dogs. Hundreds of them!

I didn't used to be afraid of dogs, at least not in America. However, there's no leash law here, and half of them are crazy and rabid. Yeah, rabid. I had to get rabies shots before I came here and I well know how to run to the nearest drug store should I get bitten (as my brother did this summer when he was here).

The more distance I started running in the mornings, the greater my fear became. I found myself praying more then when I ran than I ever have before. Mostly the same thing over and over, "Protect me Lord!" anytime I ran past a dog. However, the more I ran and the more I became accustomed to the Lord protecting me from those rabid dogs, the less I was praying for His protection. The less I depended on Him to protect me, assuming they'd leave me alone cause they always had before.

It wasn't until last month that as I ran past one, he lunged for me and I quickly made the local gruntal sound (the one they all make to scare dogs away). After that I realized that I hadn't first turned to the Lord...I'd tried to do the same thing all the other people around me do. Scare him away myself.

I realized I'd been doing that same thing in a lot of areas of my life. Like when I first got to Asia. I prayed like crazy for the Lord to provide for my needs...for language teachers, friends, POP, and so on. And then after He provided, I kind of stopped praying and asking for them. As with the dogs, when it was unfamiliar, I prayed and relied on Him a lot. Then, as soon as I was used to it and comfortable (as comfortable as you can get with lose rabid dogs), I stopped turning to Him first.

Well, after my lunging dog last week, this past week as I've been running, I've returned to trusting the Lord. As soon as I see a dirty mongrel, I praise God that He is my Protector, and run by in trust that He will continue being my shield. It's probably been the funnest week I've had running in a long time...

So, as the rabid dogs approach in every other area of my life, may I remember to trust Him first, for He is my Protector, my Provider, my Teacher...and all those other things I try so hard to take care of myself.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth...

The Lord will keep you from all harm--

he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore."

Psalm 121

Conversations: Marriage

2008-11-24T05:53:00.001-05:00

Living in a different time zone than most of my friends has definitely taken its toll on time for thought provoking conversations with my friends. However, I've had several lately over the phone with some good friends back home and it's been so enjoyable! Thanks guys!

Here's one of them I particularly enjoyed:

There are so many people who get married, and then divorced, even among believers. Even some among those who are really following Jesus. My friend said she'd like to think that she wouldn't get divorced, but she knows she can't say that. She knows she's a sinner and it's possible she, or her man, will mess up.

I totally agreed: we are sinners. Sin affects us all on this side of heaven. Of course it's possible to fall, we all do at some time or another and life's not perfect. I know that in my own sinfulness, I could easily ruin a marriage.

However, I'm not going to go into my marriage expecting failure. In fact, I'm going to do quite the opposite. Yes, I admit that I sin and I will sin. I am FAR from perfect, as I know my husband will be, too. But, there's something else that I know that I feel that most people forget: God is for my marriage. His power is much mightier than the power of my sin. There's a really good reason to have hope for a lasting marriage!

I must be able to admit I can't hold my marriage together. But I also must have the faith to admit that God can. Not only can He, but He WANTS to. God created marriage as a beautiful thing...two people becoming one so we can better understand what being one with God is like.

We know that you can't separate Jesus and the Father, right? I mean, we whole heartedly believe they are both God, right? They are one.

“Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me?...it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work...John 14:10

If then, the power of the Father is so great in Jesus, and we know that they can't separated, what makes us think that His power in us is any less that that of which was in Christ?

Jesus himself said, “I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message [that's us], that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me...John 17:20-21.

So, we are one with God. His power is in us. “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these...” [Jesus] John 14:12. The power of Christ is in us. Who's to say that we don't have the power to keep a marriage together? Sure, on my own I don't. But I'm not on my own! I am walking in faith, living in the power of Christ!

That power is there. I believe it. I know it to be true and have seen it embodied in numerous areas of my life.

So, the power is there. Now then, what does God want? Even if He hadn't given us His power, He would still be able to hold a marriage together! Why would He do that? Because, God is for marriage. He created it. As long as my marriage takes place within the confines that God created it to take place within, I believe He has no reason to let it fall apart [Both believers: 1 Kings 11:2; One man, one woman:Eph. 5:30-32; etc.].

Sure, there are those who have been divorced, but there are also thousands of marriages that have lasted. Not only do we have the examples of righteous men and women throughout the Bible whose marriages were held together by God, but there are many today. Like all the great couples at my church, some being married for 50+ years. And then there's my own parents. I'm so thankful for them. Yeah, sure, marriage has been rough for them in ways, just like it has been for others. But, the Lord has held them together and I'm sure that they would personally vouch for me saying that they love it; they have both grown greatly from those hard times and they are blessed because of it. Not only do they love their marriage, but so do I. It's beautiful, even with its glitches. Because God is in the midst of it all. It's His marriage.

As long as I can admit that my marriage is not held together by my own efforts to do the right thing, I believe it will be held together. I believe that God will keep my marriage together. That He will make it a beautiful picture of His oneness with us and His love for us, that I will be made holy through the experience and that He will be glorified through it. My faith in God and His power and His goodness must prevail over thoughts that I have the power to ruin something myself. Even the power that I have to sin and make mistakes is nothing in comparison with the vast greatness of His power. How dare I even think that I could ruin something of His like that.

I think it's when people forget about that power, when they forget who's really in charge, that their marriages struggle. How sad that they weren't able to rely on that power in faith, on Christ's power, to get them through it. And how sad that I and my brothers and sisters in Christ weren't believing in that power enough ourselves to remind those struggling so that they could depend on it as well.

Here's to believing in the power we have through Jesus over sin. And not just for myself, but reminding others of that power, so they too can believe and rest in it.

“The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:56-57

“What God has joined together, let man no separate.” Matthew 19:6

Green

2008-08-01T10:07:00.007-04:00

As I was riding the bus through the lush palm trees, rice patties, and forested hillside of my area last week, a funny thought struck me:

Is green my favorite color just because I love trees so much?

Or do I love trees so much just because green is my favorite color?

Or, do I just simply love trees. And green is my favorite color. Non-related (As I had always assumed...)?

I mean, really, think about it...can one love of your life be so deep that it influences all the other loves of your life???

Handsome Stranger

2008-07-10T23:24:00.004-04:00

My transfer from flights on the way home from Thailand wasn't so boring with a good book. My sister brought me a Christian romance novel from home to read on the plane. It's been a long time--since high school--since I'd read one.

Surrounded by dark skinned, dark haired Indians in the Calcutta airport, I stood to get in line to board my plane and out of nowhere appeared this brunette, caucasian guy. I was in line right behind him and was continually astounded by his similarities to me--his western dress, his backpack, his brown hair, how tall he was, even his smell. Crazy the things that catch my interest now days. lol...

We loaded the bus to be chartered to the plane. I purposely faced out the window on the opposite side of the bus so I wouldn't be tempted to stare. Amazing how all these dark skinned folks around me automatically draws me again to stare and be intrigued by a similar person--even after 2 weeks with Americans in Thailand!

Before reaching the plane he began a phone conversation--definitely with someone same-cultured. I even found myself attracted to his voice and his accent. He sounded like he could have grown up right next door to me!

As we boarded the plane and into to the flight, my thoughts were consumed with ponderings of who this fellow could be--was he really going to my city in the middle of nowhere? We don't get foreigners here...Could he be on a "trip" to help people in my city? Does he work there? Is he a believer? Endless conversations with him played in my imagination on into the flight. I began thinking, I should not be reading this romance novel! I couldn't believe how it'd set my mind racing and the different conversations running through my mind--all of them playful and honestly, rather forward. I was shocked at myself!

Here I was just the past 2 months, completely content in my singleness for the first time in my life! Going into our Annual General Meeting with the most confidence ever that I was content in being single and then realizing--I love being single! But, am I really content to be married if that's what God calls me to? I really struggled most of the 10 days of our meetings with "getting married."

I love being single! I love my job! I love spending so much time with women in their homes! Making my own decisions, doing things my way...Did I really want to give all that up to be a full time wife and mother? That scared me--more than I thought it would. I mean, my whole life I couldn't wait to be a wife and mother, and now, upon realizing just how awesome it was being the single that I am right now, did I really want to give this up?

After lots of praying and lots of guidance and outward processing with people I respect, like my accountability partner, supervisors, my mom, and some other older married couples at our meetings, I think the Lord brought me to contentment. Really, only in the past few days have I been able to say--I love being single and am content now, but I will also love being married and will be content in that time and place that the Lord has for me.

Crazy, I've always wanted to be married, but I guess I didn't really know what that entailed till these past 6 months of enjoying singleness. But, when the Lord calls, I'm willing to go contently, knowing life will be different, but still lovely, in a different way.

So, back to this handsome stranger. I finally couldn't take it any more. I said a brief prayer and went to sit across the aisle form him so I could ask where he was from.

CANADA. Ouch. Guess that means I'm a lot more of a Yankee than I ever wanted to admit. (Or he sang in a choir or did drama or something and learned how to correctly pronounce things without an accent...lol...). Turns out he works for some oil company and is here on business seeing some clients and not even headed to my city. We made some friendly chat and I politely returned to my seat. He wanted to know what hotel I was staying at and made some reference to drinking...that did it for me. Not my type--maybe handsome on the outside, but he sure didn't make my knees melt or my heart twitter. I returned to my book to let someone else's heart throbbing experience carry me away until I reached home.

Bottom line:

I'm content being single
I'm content getting married, when the time comes
And I should not read Christian romance novels :)

Another one bites the dust

2008-06-13T10:10:00.006-04:00

I just left another umbrella at a friend's house. That's 3 umbrellas this week I've lost. Crazy. I just can't remember when I leave a wet umbrella outside and it's not raining when I leave! Now I really have to go buy another one. I don't think I'd survive without an umbrella, and after living here, I will definitely never underestimate the usage of this lovely contraption:

Staying dry--it rains all so randomly and frequently during monsoon season (now).
Shading from the sun--that sun is killer strong! If I don't use an umbrella when it's sunny:

My friends all scold me.
I get worse tan lines.
I'd sweat more than if I had one...however, when walking outside in the heat, I'm usually soaked to the bone with sweat by the time I reach wherever I'm going anyway, so I don't know how it'd make much difference, but I do know I sweat more without the umbrella blocking some sun.

When I walk past men in the streets who are inappropriately starring at me, I hold the umbrella just low enough to block their stare from my eyes, so I can't tell they're starring.

What would I do without it? Well...buy a new one, I guess...

[Woman with her umbrella ready, working in the tea gardens nearby where I live...]

What are we so unhappy about?

2008-05-30T04:25:00.007-04:00

Jay Leno wrote this:

As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, butthis is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hitthe mark. The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across somePoll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with thedirection the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy withthe performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just isn't happy and wants a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, What are we so unhappy about?

A. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?

F. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.

L. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the e envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has b been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.

The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and en d up with either a 'general' discharge, an 'other than honorable' discharge or, worst case scenario, a 'dishonorable' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you wan t but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way.....Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day or at least be thankful and appreciative. With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

Jay Leno

Night Whisper

2008-04-14T13:49:00.008-04:00

Bang...bang...double bang, bang...the door down the hall pierced the night. My eyes slowly opened to pitch dark as the slamming door called me out of my slumber. Pulling open my mosquito net, lightning rolled across the sky, lighting the whole room for several minutes as it constantly flashed. I reluctantly slipped through the mosquito net, out of bed and sauntered down the hall guided by the light from the storm. Rain was gushing around the whole house, sounding as though we were engulfed in a massive waterfall.

A foot away from the door, something suddenly grabbed my hand. Gasp for breath. Two sharp shrills exploded from my upper lungs and my heart skipped a beat.

"It's me! It's me!" Betsy pleaded. Air filled my lungs again as I sighed. Why do I have to be so dog gone jumpy? She was shutting the door and I turned to head back down the hall to my room.

The sound of the rain beckoned me to the open door as I passed by. I stuck my head out into the darkness and stepped halfway onto the veranda.

"Wow"...

Moments passed by as I took in the magnificence of the storm--of the rolling thunder, flashed of light constantly filling the sky, and the rain. The beginning of the monsoon. It's hard to just call it rain when it's so massive like that. Ain't nothin' like Missouri rain.

The monsoon had only been coming at night the past several weeks. It'd been many months without any rain before the first down pour, and after about five nights of it, it was another week until this one. The heat and humidity had been close to unbearable--although I know it's going to get worse as summer isn't full blown yet.

We're closest to one of the wettest spots on earth, but the rain only comes all at once. We go for long periods without any at all.

As I watched it pour outside, my thoughts shifted to my neighbors, who live in bamboo walled houses with mud floors in the low areas. Were they asleep? Was water pouring through their roofs? Their floors? I though of the villages that flooded last year, the hundreds of people who drowned as their entire villages were swept away into the mighty Brahmaputra River. Were people dying tonight?

Then the power of it all consumed me and my thoughts drifted on to the Psalms:

My soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary,
and beheld your power and your glory...

Psalm 63

Power. Majesty. Moha मोहा--the word used in our language to describe the greatest power. For the Christians and for the Muslims it's used to describe God's power, for the Hindus it's the greatest power. The word consumed my thoughts.

Wow--He amazes me. His moha, how great! So attractive. How could one not be drawn to this power? I wanted it. I wanted to be a part of it.

Then it hit me: I am. That's my God, my Lord, my life. As Jesus put it, "I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you" John 14:20. He is in me. That power--that moha surrounding me now--the one I'm watching, hearing, seeing--the one taking lives and giving life (through rain in this case)--that power is in me. I am in Him. I am a part of it.

A nice little romantic night whisper. I smiled and crawled back through my mosquito net into bed.

My Experiment

2008-03-31T11:19:00.003-04:00

My flight to Egypt last December was occupied by Sudoku, sleeping, and reading everything that was in the magazines on the plane. I actually really like plane magazines; you can learn so many interesting, random things.

I read an article on this flight about eyesight. They said that the body is self-healing and when most things go wrong, they correct themselves: like broken bones. However, they argued that many people get glasses all too soon and don't give their eyes a chance to normalize. If one were to go a certain amount of time without glasses, the eyes would naturally correct themselves.

So, I decided I would conduct an experiment myself to see if these people really knew what they were talking about. Since coming to South Asia, I have not been able to wear my contacts due to the dirt, pollution, and climate difference. Therefore, ditching the contacts was already taken care of . I decided to go one month without wearing my glasses to see if there was any change in my eyes.

The first few weeks were rather hard, cause I wanted to see things, obviously! I'm not blind without my glasses, but things are not clear, such as words from afar and whether people are looking at me or not. But, after a month, I became used to it.

Month 2: I decided to keep it up, since it wasn't bothering me all that much anymore. I wanted to see if there was more change over a longer period of time.

Month 3: I forgot to stop the experiment and just got used to not having glasses.

I am now beginning month 4 and have decided to examine my observations about this experiment and thought I might share.

I am an observant person. I usually notice everything on the streets as I am passing by, things that both of my partners have told me they never noticed or even thought about. However, now without my glasses, I wasn't noticing much around me. I found myself walking down the street, and instead of being consumed by all the sights and details of things, I was consumed by my own thoughts. Odd. I realized that I don't usually walk anywhere in deep thought, I'm too busy noticing and taking in new things to dwell on something that is not currently present. I began to enjoy my own thoughts and found myself doing a lot more praying for the people around me and meditating on the Scriptures I'd read that morning or other places that my mind wandered. I'm not saying my observing mind is bad; definitely not. Only that I never noticed what thoughts consumed my mind until they weren't there anymore and something else occupied them.
Going 3 months without glasses does not improve your eye sight. I would probably have to have an eye exam to really conclude for certain that there was no improvement whatsoever in my eyes, but, as things look now, it seems just as blurry as before.

Valentine's Day वैलेंटाइन'स ड

2008-02-15T01:22:00.005-05:00

हैप्पी वैलेंटाइन'स डे! Happy Valentine's Day!

The girls and I thought we were going to a piano bar for mocktails for Valentine's Day...we were so excited and I even got spiffied up all nice! Turns out, the piano player was sick, so we went to Baskin Robbins instead and then home to watch a movie. It was a nice night out with the girls.

Even though I am currently without pursuers and in a position which does not encourage it in any way (dating is against company policy and there's no good, single, like-minded fellas in my city), I am still in love. I was reminiscing on old Valentine's Days and just thinking how thankful I am that my Maker is my Husband. He's been so sweet to give me so many good things.

Some of my favorite Valentine's Day memories:

1. My Daddy gave me my first bass guitar for Valentine's Day many years ago. It was from his own band when he was in the 8th grade...my favorite Valentine's gift ever.

2. My junior year of high school this awesome boy I met in a band, whom I really liked, gave me a pink rose (my favorite color at the time) and a package of powdered dough nuts--The weekend he met me, this older guy was totally making fun of me for smelling like powdered dough nuts (the scent of my deodorant at the time).

3. I planned a Valentine's Date Extravaganza for the girls in my hall when I was an RA, along with the guys in a hall of our brother dorm. The girls got 7 dates in one night and we all had a great time with driving to Springfield, an art gallery, dinner at Fazoli's, scavenger hunt at Bass Pro Shop, and desert at Steak-n-Shake.

4. The Valentine's Date Extravaganza was actually a few days before the real holiday. On the actual night of, some of my girls and I went out with some of my guy friends. The fellas took us to a cave in the middle of the woods outside of town. It was so fun! We sat on the riverside in the dark and sang worship songs together...it was completely romantic in a higher kind of way. :) Then, after returning home, the girls and I snuck out on campus and started a mud fight...it had rained all week long and you only had to push your hand into the wet earth to pull out a big clump of squishy mud. We had so much fun and ended up the night creating our own mud slide, which just kept getting longer and longer. So much fun!

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1

A Train Ride

2007-10-27T16:44:00.000-04:00

Sitting on the train back to Delhi from Agra (Taj Mahal), there was an empty seat beside me. Men walked past me down the aisles, selling snacks. The dry heat of northern Delhi had dehydrated me and with no water left, I gave in to my thirst and bought some tea. I paid too much, but it tasted great.

The chip guy walked by with his bucket of salted, fatty potato chips on his head. Several others took their turns, sauntering down the aisles, attempting to persuade everyone in broken Indian English which product they should buy to satisfy their hunger.

One of the vendors suddenly plopped himself down in the seat next to me and his metal bucket on the floor between his feet. As he lifted the newspaper from the opening of his bucket, the smell of his concoction quickly filled my sensory system. "Ooof..." escaped my lips as my eyebrows raised and lips puckered.

The Dutch couple across the aisle immediately glanced my way to read my thoughts of what was beside me. It's interesting how, even though they're from a different continent, we can have that common understanding without speaking. Maybe it's because of our common English language bond. Maybe it's because were from developed countries and our scientific world views are similar...maybe it's just because they're white...

Michelle just turned from the seat ahead of me to ask what I was doing. Brandon answered, "It's like when the kids are quiet and you think, "Uh oh, what's wrong?"

The man beside me began his dealing with another vendor. "What is that?" I questioned. I don't even remember what he said, but it looked like some kind of Indian soup. He also informed me that the other man was selling noodles.

"What? Those don't look like noodles to me..." I speculated. As his friend returned, he scooped up a glob to show me and offered me a taste.

A bit timidly, I extended my hand. He dumped a scoop in my palm and I tried it. Not so bad...kind of like spicy grits. I tilted my head back and tossed the rest in. My hand was all sticky. Yuck.

It's all good, I thought...I live in India. I'm a trooper. I tore some newspaper from my package in front of me and wiped my hand.

Satisfied.
I tried something new.
I talked to someone new.
I did something new...a few new somethings.
I just entertained myself for 10 minutes and avoided boredom on the train.
I live in India.

Holding me up

2007-03-14T09:37:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was an eventful day! I was playing football with a bunch of other friends after class and right at the end, while running for a deep pass, collided with another guy trying to catch the same pass. To make a long story short, within the afternoon I lost some vision in one eye for a while, had a terrible headache, neckache, was vomiting, dizzy, and even confused about words. I forgot several basic words while talking, like "rock," and the name of the guy driving me to the hospital. lol...it was quite funny.

We went to a walk in clinic and were then sent to the ER so they could give me a cat scan. The first 3 hours or so I was completely miserable and could hardly think. But, I was so blessed with so many of my friends here that were taking care of me and speaking for me. After waiting over 3 hours in the ER, I was finally seen by a doctor. They gave me x-rays because they were afraid I may have injured some of the vertebrae in my neck as well as a cat scan. Everything turned out fine and I was diagnosed with a simple concussion. I need to be really careful for the next 6 weeks so I don't get reinjured in the head...this could cause serious damage. I am doing fine today, just a really sore neck, bad headache, and a little spaciness now and then. They say I may have some memory problems for the next 6 weeks as well.

I am honestly so thankful for yesterday, though. I rejoice in what my Father did! My biggest fear is being alone, and I had actually been feeling quite lonely the last several days. However, with so many people taking care of me yesterday, driving me to the hospital, getting me medicine, speaking for me, and just being there to comfort me, my Father reminded me how He provides for my needs--including my needs of friends, family, and deep relationships. At one point in time there were 14 people hanging out with me in the ER waiting room! And the point where I finally started feeling better came soon after they all grouped around me to put their hands on me and speak for me together. I was so blessed.

It reminded me of the story of Moses, Joshua, Hur, and the battle against the Amalakites in Exodus 17:8-16. "As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that this hands remained steady till sunset."

In my worst 3 hours, I was in too much pain to even think, but my friends held my arms up for me. They spoke to the Father for me when I could not think straight. I remember thinking, "I need to speak to Him, but I can't think." I managed out a little, "help me, Father." But, I was so thankful for those around me who were lifting me up when I was too weak to do it myself.
Those hours spent at the ER were also great bonding times. It turned out to be great fun and I feel even closer to them now. I love my family here.

Oh, and by the way...I'm not pregnant! The first thing they made me do in the ER was take a pregnancy test! Ha! I assured them I wasn't pregnant, unless I could get so by just looking at boys, but they say it's mandatory before x-rays. So, just thought you'd enjoy the rest of my diagnosis from the doctor.

Should I go?

2007-02-11T20:32:00.000-05:00

My grandmother is my hero. There are so many things I admire about her...she was a devout pastor's wife and mother of four...but even more so, she has been a foundational rock of support and encouragement to me in my journey into serving the Lord through her dedication to missions (leading old lady prayer groups, making quilts to raise money for missions, completely supporting a national missionary overseas...). This dedication in her actions as well as her constant prayers for me have made such a difference in my life.

On the day of my graduation, December 15, 2006, we were alone in my room. She shocked me with the question, "Are you sure this is where God wants you to go?" I had spent a summer living with her while I was a summer missionary and she saw me working with the kids and youth. She told me, "I have seen how you can relate to people and how much God is using you here. I can't see why He would take you to another country where you don't know the language or the culture, when He's using you so much here, where you do know how to relate to people best."

I was flabbergasted. I hadn't expected this from someone I respected so much, especially someone so concerned about people coming to know Christ.

I assured her this was where God was calling me and kind of put the thought out of my mind. That is, until a few weeks ago.

The past few months I have been involved in several ministries in my hometown...teaching a discipleship class for new believers at my church, leading a discipleship group with four high school girls in the evenings, and helping with a Bible study for women at our local jail. God had been blessing me so much and using me in incredible ways! Those in my class, in my girl's group, and in the jail all had significant spiritual growth and were amazed at the things the Lord showed them through me. Shelly, a lady in the jail, even accepted Christ last Sunday.

That night I lay in bed thinking, "Wow! God has been using me so much here! I understand people, how they think, and I feel I can really communicate the Word of the Lord really well!" And then those questions of my grandmother's came to my mind again. If God is using me so much here, why should I go overseas where I don't know the language and the culture and how to connect with people and communicate like I do here?

I started worrying that maybe I shouldn't be going overseas. However, the moment I began to question God with this, He gave me my answer.

God assured me, I used you when I took you to Indonesia, I used you when I took you to Ecuador...look at all the people's lives I revealed my glory to through you, even though it wasn't your culture and language. I had forgotten...it's not me sharing Christ with people and revealing God's glory, it's God! He's the one doing it! All I am is the vessell He chooses to use. And He can use me anyway He wants, anywhere and in any language. How silly of me to think that it had anything to do with my own abilities!

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9

He also reminded me that if I don't go, how will they ever know? There are so many people who have never even heard the name of Jesus, and yet so many unwilling to go tell them.

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that this is where You're taking me...not because of my own abilities, but because You yearn for them to know You. You're going to use me...not because I have learned so many things and am good at this, but because You are the one drawing them to You and speaking to them.

I was hit by a car yesterday

2007-02-05T00:35:00.000-05:00

While in Carthage yesterday, a huge Avalanche pulled out from a gas pump and plowed right into the side of my little Ford Ranger. Crazy as it is, this is the third time I've been hit by another car!

The first two times I flipped out, started crying...worrying about what my dad would say or how we would pay for the damage (the insurance of the other guy never fully covers this stuff). I can honestly say I was reacting in my flesh: I was not depending on the Holy Spirit to lead me in truth, but reacted on my own.

Yesterday was different.

I began my morning with the Lord and He really spoke to me through a Psalm. By the time I was hit, I was just rejoicing in the Lord! Though I was hit by a car, I found myself being thankful in my situation! I was thanking God first and foremost that it wasn't my fault! Also, that I was okay. He gave me an amazing peace and calm assurance. I can definitely say I took claim to His promise:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

After the cop filed the police report and I was driving away (knowing full well this guy was completely at fault), God began laying something else on my heart.

I've been learning a lot about what forgiveness really means...not just from God, but also to others. As I was driving, God really layed that on my heart. I felt the strong desire to forgive this guy. Not that I was upset at him, but to REALLY forgive him.

I decided that I wanted to write him a letter with the estimate of getting my car fixed, to not turn it into the insurance company, and to pay it myself. Yeah, it was his fault. True, the law says his insurance must pay to have my car fixed. Yes, I don't have to pay for it.

However, Christ died for my sins. It was my fault. I should have paid that debt. And yet, I don't have to pay for it. I want this man to know that. I want him to know that even though he deserves to pay for my car to be fixed, he has been completely forgiven for more than what he deserves. I want him to know and experience in a physical manner the forgiveness Christ offers him.

My father is thinking about whether he's going to let me pay for it or turn it into the insurance company. We'll see what happens...ultimately, I will submit to my father and do as he desires, but I also want this man to know that kind of forgiveness, and if paying to fix my truck would help him understand God's forgiveness of what he owes...than it's worth it, by golly.

Love as an Economic metaphor

2007-01-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

On my drive home last night I was praying about a friend. This friend, like many other men, feels he has failed God. He didn't straight up say that, but I can tell in how he treats his wife, his relationship with God, how he prays, and just how he treats others in general.

I was praying that God would reveal to him that it doesn't matter how much he's messed up, God still loves him just the same; God still wants to use him just the same. I prayed that he would understand God's unconditional love--that God doesn't take away love because this guy messed up, but God continually gives him the ability to defeat Satan, to fight on His team, and to love others with God's love despite his imperfections.

As I prayed, God revealed something to me about my relationship with this person. As this person thought he was failing God, it affected his relationship with me. I realized that I had been looking at this person like he was failing me as well because he wasn't letting God work through him to love me the way I should be receiving God's love from him. I realized that when he failed me, I myself was withdrawing my love and respect from him because....basically because I felt he was failing me.

No wonder this guy doesn't understand God's unconditional love! All of the physical examples in his life tell him one thing: he fails someone, they withdraw love! No wonder he feels that when he fails God, he looses God's love!

God really convicted me that I need to stop withdrawing love and respect from him. Even if he's not loving me the way God wants him to, I am to still love and respect him as God does, no matter how he benefits me.

As author Donald Miller says, "The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity. We use it like money...If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time, popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and, perhaps, we feel they are priceless....I used love like money...With love, we withheld affirmation from the people who did not agree with us, but we lavishly financed the ones who did...I used love like money, but love doesn't work like money. It is not a commodity. When we barter with it, we all lose. When the church does not love its enemies, it fuels their rage..."

Miller than goes on to tell a story of a friend who bothered him. To show this friend he didn't like what he was doing, he began displaying his dislike of the friend in his facial expressions and reactions. But he realized that "by withholding love from [his] friend, he became defensive, he didn't like [him], he thought [he] was judgmental, snobbish, proud, and mean. Rather than being drawn to [him], wanting to change, he was repulsed. [Miller] was guilty of using love like money, withholding it to get somebody to be who [he] wanted them to be."

Miller said that when he realized this and began pouring on the love, despite his dislikes of the guy, that he slowly began to change to adjust to what Miller thought was acceptable.

Really, all God wants us to do is love them-no matter their failures. I knew that, of course, don't we all? But it just hit me in a different way last night. If I can love him unconditionally, despite how he's failing me...and maybe, just maybe, as he physically sees my love for him, no matter his failures, maybe then he can come to understand God's love for him.

Lord, forgive me for my selfishness. Guide me to love others unconditionally, no matter what sin they're involved in or problem they're dealing with, that I would be your hands and feet and that they would understand your love better because of how they received it from me.

Pray for Dottie

2007-01-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was a blast! I went to the FCA college retreat in Kansas City...got to see some old friends, make some new ones, and dwell on the Word of God. My favorite part of the weekend was Saturday afternoon...

Nine of the girls and I went to some great restaurant on the Plaza and bought this chocolate bag desert [umm, hmm...good stuff!]. We then stopped by the cheesecake factory for a moment and headed to a big fountain that was shut down for the winter.

There were these cute little black girls trying to raise money to go march in the MLK Day parade in San Antonio. I gave them a few bucks and asked if they could teach me a move...they did half of their routine for me and I didn't learn a thing! I then wandered back over to the fountain.

The girls decided to get in and make a movie with someone's video camera while I decided to stay back and watch the purses that were laying on the ground. As I was standing there and watching all the people walk by, I felt the Lord telling me, "You're just standing around relaxing and you've got plenty of time, why don't you share my love with someone?" So, I immediately began to scheme who I would talk to. The older couple walking by? The man sitting on a bench near by smoking a cigarette? I figured he'd be easy since he wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere either. However, as I was thinking about it, I began praying as well...

"Lord, if you want me to share my faith, also show me to whom and how. I don't want to go and try to do good things in my flesh and on my own might. I want to do it because You're leading me to do it. Show me who and when and how YOU are leading me to do so."

So, I stood and waited a bit. I knew if I went to talk to the guy it would be just me doing it because I wanted to do a good work, not because the Lord was leading me to.

Then I saw her. This girl, in her late 20's or early 30's had been walking around close by and right then she walked back over by the fountain. I asked God, "Is this her? If so, give me a lead into a conversation with her."

Sure enough, she bent down to the ground and began patting the ground as if she was looking for something, and she began crying. I walked over to her and asked her if she had lost something or if there was anything I could do to help her. She stood and said no in a very quiet, timid voice. She wiped her tears and tried to pretend like nothing was wrong. So, I made some small chat with her, just trying to be friendly. Found out her name was Dottie and she was from NM, in KC looking for a job. She ended our conversation and walked away. I went back to the fountain. I decided to just trust God that He just wanted to show her that someone cared and thanked Him for using me to do so. Little did I know it wasn't over.

A few moments later, the girls asked what we should do next. I suggested that we just walk around the Plaza and take it all in, since I'd never really seen much of it before. We walked to the corner where Dottie was. As we waited for the light to change to cross the street, I introduced her to the girls and invited her to take a stroll with us. She complied.

As we walked, she and Marissa and I shared some jokes (of course) and we all got to know each other a little more. It made Dottie more comfortable that we had all just met the day before as well. When I asked where she was staying, she timidly said a shelter near by. I wondered how long she'd been there...

We finally took a seat at a table to wait for our ride. As we sat and talked, we came to a silence. I suggested that someone share their testimony so we could get to know each other better. No one wanted to, so I volunteered. :) I just shared a little, mainly about how I knew when I was six that I needed Jesus, I loved him, didn't want to go to hell for my sins, and asked him into my heart. I briefly (honestly, only like a minute or two max) shared a little of how God had changed my heart and how I'd fallen in love with him the more I got to know him.

Somehow we then got into talking about my upcoming journey overseas. I gave everyone one of my picture cards to pray for me and share about what I'd be doing and why I was going to do it. I gave Dottie one, too. She had fought back tears several times during our conversation, and began crying again. She set it on the table and then shortly after, got up to leave. I grabbed the card and caught up with her, accompanying her down the street.

I thanked her for hanging out with us and told her how much I thoroughly enjoyed meeting new people. It had been a delight! I then asked her if it was alright with her if I prayed for her every day this week...that God would lead her to find the job that she was looking for. She said she'd like that. I gave her my card back and said she could keep it. I then gave her a good hug, told her, "take care! God Bless!" and went back to join my friends.

It was great. I was so much at peace about the whole thing. Never once did I feel uncomfortable or like I was trying to shove something in her face. I was just trusting God to lead me to do and say what He wanted--and He did! He showed Dottie that He cared about her; that she wasn't beyond being lovely to Him; and that she was accepted and loved by Him, no matter her condition. God gave me this incredible...I don't even know the words to describe it, but it was like a relaxing peace and calm joy...all at once. And He reminded me that this was what He was calling me to do everywhere...in downtown Kansas City, in Marshall, and overseas.

This is what the Lord has called me to: to trust Him and to obey. I like it.

Please pray for Dottie this week--pray that she would find a job.

Submission...

2006-11-23T23:06:00.000-05:00

These past several months of my life have been some of the most amazing of my life! God has completely changed my life. No joke. There are so many things I knew before, but now I know them in a different light. It seems like this past month everything, i mean EVERYTHING has been so interrelated and God has been teaching me this through every situation...let me try and explain...

I always knew that the relationship between a man and a woman in a marriage was the physical picture of Christ and the church (me). However, I guess I just never really got it like I do now. I knew that the man was supposed to pursue and lead his wife and she was supposed to respond and submit to him.

However, i was struggling with some issues in my life and one of the people who disciples me pointed out that I had been pursuing men. I didn't really think so at first, but then realized how much of a non-submitter I really was. I didn't mean to, but it's just that society has such a twisted view of these roles, that I thought I was being submissive, when I really wasn't.

So, as I began trying to submit to men in relationships, I realized there was so much I didn't know about submitting. I told my mentor that it wasn't fair that I didn't have that relationship with a man, because I couldn't physically see how I was supposed to submit to God. He said, in a way I didn't understand it as much, but really that God wanted to teach me submission and responding first through the relationship with my father.

My father has always been the quieter type, and I was always the child who wanted to do things my way. I didn't realize until now how much of a non-submitter I was to my father. So, these past several weeks I've been working extremely hard to submit to my father. In fact, just tonight I told he and my mother and grandma while we were sitting in the living room this stuff God has been teaching me. I apologized for not submitting to him and told him I wanted him to lead me as my father and the head of our household. I told him I was ready to submit to his leadership.

In talking with my mentor, I began seeing how interrelated all these relationships are...romantic pursuals, a father's leadership, and most importantly--our relationship with God.

I've come to realize that God has always wanted to lead me, but I haven't always been submitting to Him. Sure, I had a relationship with Him, but I kept trying to lead it. I would tell God to show me this or to help me with that...when really, that was not where God was leading me at all. Every part of my relationship with Him was like this--I was setting the initiatives and trying to take the lead, even in my quiet times...

But in these past months, as I've realized this and have begun letting Him lead, He's changed my life. I love submitting to Him! I love not even TRYING to do good things and trying to please Him, but simply seeking Him to lead me. When He shows me something, I respond in obedience, and I am no longer the same.

This may all be confusing, but I really wanted to try and explain it, especially since I've been talking to so many women about this lately. The exciting part: There are many women around me who have been learning this same thing from God! We were thinking, hmmm...God is calling all of us women to submit, maybe that means there are a bunch of men around us who are about to submit to God by stepping up and leading us. We have been praying for spiritual renewal on our campus, well, I believe this would be it...if only we all respond...if the women respond in submission and the men respond in leadership...wow, just think what would happen! All these people doing exactly what God's calling them to do! Look out, world! Christians livin' for Jesus and the lost comin' to know Him! AMEN!

Not only am I excited about this as a big picture, I'm excited about who it makes me. I like being a submitter. I am learning what it looks like to be a responder, and I love it! I have never felt more at peace in my life; never felt more secure and safe in my life; I have never felt more beautiful, loved, and pursued in my life...

Even in chapel on Wednesday, after the harp guy lead us in worship, I just couldn't help but think how AWESOME God is. I told a friend..."I think I'm in love!" As I was praying with another friend, I even told God that He was HOTT! It struck me as funny, but it made perfect sense! When a man pursues a woman, that is hot and attractive...and that's how I see my Savior! He woos me and pursues me and I couldn't be in any better place than letting Him lead me. Wow...