Surrounded by dark skinned, dark haired Indians in the Calcutta airport, I stood to get in line to board my plane and out of nowhere appeared this brunette, caucasian guy. I was in line right behind him and was continually astounded by his similarities to me--his western dress, his backpack, his brown hair, how tall he was, even his smell. Crazy the things that catch my interest now days. lol...
We loaded the bus to be chartered to the plane. I purposely faced out the window on the opposite side of the bus so I wouldn't be tempted to stare. Amazing how all these dark skinned folks around me automatically draws me again to stare and be intrigued by a similar person--even after 2 weeks with Americans in Thailand!
Before reaching the plane he began a phone conversation--definitely with someone same-cultured. I even found myself attracted to his voice and his accent. He sounded like he could have grown up right next door to me!
As we boarded the plane and into to the flight, my thoughts were consumed with ponderings of who this fellow could be--was he really going to my city in the middle of nowhere? We don't get foreigners here...Could he be on a "trip" to help people in my city? Does he work there? Is he a believer? Endless conversations with him played in my imagination on into the flight. I began thinking, I should not be reading this romance novel! I couldn't believe how it'd set my mind racing and the different conversations running through my mind--all of them playful and honestly, rather forward. I was shocked at myself!
Here I was just the past 2 months, completely content in my singleness for the first time in my life! Going into our Annual General Meeting with the most confidence ever that I was content in being single and then realizing--I love being single! But, am I really content to be married if that's what God calls me to? I really struggled most of the 10 days of our meetings with "getting married."
I love being single! I love my job! I love spending so much time with women in their homes! Making my own decisions, doing things my way...Did I really want to give all that up to be a full time wife and mother? That scared me--more than I thought it would. I mean, my whole life I couldn't wait to be a wife and mother, and now, upon realizing just how awesome it was being the single that I am right now, did I really want to give this up?
After lots of praying and lots of guidance and outward processing with people I respect, like my accountability partner, supervisors, my mom, and some other older married couples at our meetings, I think the Lord brought me to contentment. Really, only in the past few days have I been able to say--I love being single and am content now, but I will also love being married and will be content in that time and place that the Lord has for me.
Crazy, I've always wanted to be married, but I guess I didn't really know what that entailed till these past 6 months of enjoying singleness. But, when the Lord calls, I'm willing to go contently, knowing life will be different, but still lovely, in a different way.
So, back to this handsome stranger. I finally couldn't take it any more. I said a brief prayer and went to sit across the aisle form him so I could ask where he was from.
CANADA. Ouch. Guess that means I'm a lot more of a Yankee than I ever wanted to admit. (Or he sang in a choir or did drama or something and learned how to correctly pronounce things without an accent...lol...). Turns out he works for some oil company and is here on business seeing some clients and not even headed to my city. We made some friendly chat and I politely returned to my seat. He wanted to know what hotel I was staying at and made some reference to drinking...that did it for me. Not my type--maybe handsome on the outside, but he sure didn't make my knees melt or my heart twitter. I returned to my book to let someone else's heart throbbing experience carry me away until I reached home.
Bottom line:
- I'm content being single
- I'm content getting married, when the time comes
- And I should not read Christian romance novels :)
